Wonderful Father

The father heart of God and living in the wonder of who He is. These are two aspects of my relationship with God that I pursued all of DTS. Anytime the father heart of God came up or relating to God as father I never really understood what that meant for me. I would try to ask people and figure it out, I would pray for it but even debrief week I still did not feel I understood the concept of a heavenly father. The same journey surrounded me seeking to be in awe of God. so many songs talk about living in wonder and standing in awe and I felt that was something I always sought but never quite reached. I always thought that with my life being so surrounded by Christianity from the start maybe I would never truly discover what that feels like. I was so scared God would always just be so normal to me. But as God often does he did not answer my prayers how I expected. In my head, DTS was the perfect time for Him to give me a new revelation of both of these things. I thought with six months completely dedicated to learning about him that is where I would finally understand those things but He had another plan.

What was that plan? Well it involved a van, nine girls, New Zealand, mountains, strangers, and many more things. After DTS, I went on a trip to New Zealand without many expectations or plans. I just figured I was already on this side of the world so I may as well take advantage of it. It turns out that God had such an intentional plan for every day and every moment. The whole trip turned into a beautiful adventure with my heavenly father. Every day I felt like I woke up and God was ready for another adventure with me. He brought me to the most beautiful places. He gave me the most spontaneous experiences. In the random moments, he was showing me his love. Even more powerful than the big moments were the little moments of realization. The moments when I was able to see him holding my hand along the way or feel him smiling at me when I was unsure what the next day would hold when he already knew or even as we sat in a cramped van and he was speaking through creation and music.

Not only did he reveal his father heart to me but also the wonder and beauty of who he is.

An adventure of the father revealed through nature

"God how you continue to blow my mind

From the depths of the ocean to the heights of the earth

Beauty beyond what I could ever imagine

And displayed with such intentionality

From the smallest yet brightest fish

To the biggest, brown rolling hills

From the big to the small

From the neutral to the vibrant

Your creativity is shown

My mind is constantly blown

My heart is constantly in wonder

I look around and I am in awe

The same God who created each one of those wonders created me

I stand delighted in my Father

I sit speechless at your beauty

Yet you just look at me and smile

Because while I am enjoying your creation all around me you are enjoying the creation you made in me

You love the mountains and the reefs but you love me more

You love watching me be blown away by your beauty

But then reminding me that above it all I am fearfully and wonderfully made

Because in the end you looked at me and said very good

And sometimes the adventure you have for me is just to be still

Just to sit as a child admiring my father’s work"

In the end, maybe these are not two separate lessons after all. Maybe when you understand the love of the father you are filled with wonder and when you understand the wonder of God you are also filled with the love of the father.

But perhaps what I learned even beyond this is that DTS is not the end of my adventure. When I landed in Chicago God got off that plane with me ready to keep walking with me. Maybe each of these things was just to convince me that he is not finished yet. That even with DTS coming to an end, my discovery of God is not over and neither is God using me to reach people. He showed me time and time again that he still has so much for me, so many opportunities for me to be bold, so many people for me to listen to and love, so many chances to share the love he has lavished over. So really DTS graduation was not the end to anything, but the beginning. The beginning of a lifestyle, one of boldness, selfless love, and adventure. Sometimes it just takes a little more intentionality to look for God speaking when you are back to “normal life”.

If God could show me all this on a trip to New Zealand how much does he have in store for each one of us every day. Only he knows, so ask him. Each day I encourage you to ask God what he is teaching you because he is never done revealing himself to us.